Mom left us quietly in the wee hours of the morning on August 10th. She was probably waiting until we were all tucked in our respective beds fast asleep, so she could at last have her own final rest. Moms are like that. I couldn't resist putting this picture of her up in tribute, as it has always been my favorite, and I'm sure, a form she would like to take if she ever comes visiting us from dream time. This is how I will remember her. I find myself gathering little embers of memories... things I treasure about my mother. I don't think I ever turned out to be the "girly-girl" mom really wanted. She used to love to comb my long hair when I was about 5 or 6 years old until one day I discovered a pair of scissors and decided to see how they worked on my own hair. I must have really took a chunk out right close to the scalp because then for quite a while, I had this little boy bob and my father would jokingly call me sonny, just to see my mother break out in tears. One Christmas time I remember she fixed a plate of Christmas cookies and she and I would lounge on her bed while she read me "Little Women."
Whenever she saw me, she would always ask: "How's that beautiful daughter of mine?" I don't ever remember going through that stage when I was a teenager of looking in the mirror thinking there was something missing. I'd always say approvingly to myself: "Well, you look OK..." There were many other ways that I was gifted by my mother, but I think it was the confidence she instilled in me that I really treasure. No matter what strange idea I might come up with and try out on her, she always said: "Sure, why not!" I know my other siblings will have their stories and memories and even though we had the same childhood, each experienced it from their perspective. I'm glad I have mine.
Towards the end of her life, she had a very rich fantasy life which seemed to include lots of great grandchildren. According to her, my nephew and his wife had about 69 children. Many of them were twins or triplets. She was sure they had to hire a bus to get everyone to church. Her favorite great-grand child, the one she spent the most time with, apparently, was little Mary Rose. Evidently the little one would help her out at dinner time and eat the food mom didn't like because she didn't want "Gam ma" to get in trouble for not eating her vegetables. I personally liked this world she lived in and used to talk often to her about different aspects of it. I thought: Why not? That's why we watch TV and go to the movies, isn't it, to enter into another world?
I'm looking forward to continuing the relationship, now that she is free to come and go, unencumbered by physicality.I have no doubt it will still include a few:" sure why nots" from the other side. So, another soul joins my cheering section. I wonder what we will all be creating together? I'm sure hearts will be involved.