Waiting at Heaven's Gate

Today mom was enrolled in hospice. Though she has been in a rest home for a number of years, she took a serious turn this past week and the Doctors said they don't expect to recover from a bleed into her brain and it would be risky, or at least not really improve things to do any surgery. I and my family are preparing for her crossing. My father, too, has been in decline, and though at the present time he seems to be in a bit of a rally, both he and my mother are probably going to "leave the planet" in the not so distant future. That's the thing, though: no one really knows when. It will probably be just a quiet slipping away for both of them. The last time I was with mom, she was in a coma so I didn't expect a response, but talked and sang to her, knowing she was following my every word and song. I wear a gold band on my finger that marks my religious commitment. This ring was made from a combination of gold from the rings both Mom and Dad gave each other when they married. Over time their rings have been replaced with new ones. Since I made my final vows on their wedding anniversary, the three of us share a special date in time, and a very special ring. It must have stirred something in her when I told her when I was with her this last time, that when ever I twirled the ring on my finger, I was thinking of them both and that it would be a special signal to her when she got to the other side that I was calling her. It gave a whole new meaning to the words: "I'll ring you up." Both my sister and I were with her. When we got ready to leave we said our goodbyes and I love yous, not knowing if it would be for the last time, and, she opened her eyes and said, "And, I love you!", then she took my sister's hand and kissed the back of it. That has always been my confirmation that we are in the presence of an angel!(so many times in my life when I have an odd encounter with someone who seems a bit out of place, and then their parting gesture to me is to kiss the back of my hand, I know it's a heavenly visitor I've just been with.)

We were both blown away, of course. And so we wait on heaven. No one really knows when she or my father will swing out on the great cosmic Smile of Divine love and move into another existence. They celebrate their 64th wedding anniversary on August 7th, tomorrow. We'll just have to wait and see..........

There are Teachers coming near......

Maybe you have felt the shift inside, lately. I know I have. There are days of low energy where I feel like I've been put in a light trance-like state and some serious downloading of information comes streaming in. Nothing I could verbalize, just a knowing. The world looks a bit odd at times, like I am in another dimension, yet, not really....I feel like I have been attending mind blowing lectures in dream time, yet I can't remember a thing I heard and yet, I know I'm different because of it. I don't even know how to put it all into words but I observe it all around me. Some of you feel it too. It may feel like you are on overload and that your nerve endings are frayed, followed by feelings of peace, contentment and a rightness to your life, even, dare I say, floating in a state of Grace. It's crazy mixed up at times and life goes on as before. But, it's the little blue lights that dart around that most amaze me. I've had many times in the past when they were frequent visitors. I know it's not just me because others have reported the same thing. They are hesitant to mention it because it's so fast that you wonder if you just imagined it...but there they are again. When people around me get brave enough to bring it up and ask if I see them too, we are all relieved to realize it not "just me," but others are seeing them too. When they come near, I also get "thoughts" that come to me like: "dolphins are to ETs as dogs are to humans...." And I say: "Okay, where did that come from?" It's not like I was asking about dolphins, but, it is an intriguing thought. I say all this because maybe many of you out there are beginning to connect with something akin to teachers in the ethers giving you information or encouragement at the moment. Maybe you are feeling a bit out of sorts and weird and this may bother you. I believe we are entering into a time when we will be and are already growing new abilities that will be serving the greater good. One day we will be much more telepathic than we have ever been and it will be preparing us for relating to one another and to Gaia (Mother Earth) in multi-dimensional ways. It is all in line with realizing our oneness with her. You may already be finding yourself wanting to lay on the earth, or be close in some way or other to nature. It may feel like a deep longing. Go with it, answer the call, drop everything you are doing and answer that call. The teachers coming near are real and they are here to teach us all how very fond our Mother Gaia is of us. They will not let up, so we might as well accept this. What ever way the teachers come near, be it a book of wisdom, a movie or dinner conversation, or seeing the new way we handle an old "problem" with ease, this is now our time to shine, to experience our emerging magnificence. Even though the world around us appears to be "going to hell in a hand basket," things are definitely not what they seem. Thank God/Goddess for that!

Faithful companions-purple campenula...

When I first moved here to the coast, the confirmation that it was the right move for Sophia Center was discovering these little purple Campenula in a planter in front of the shop. At first they seemed somewhat timid, but came on strong after I kept complimenting them and touching them every time I walked by. At our very first location in the Historic Laundry Building at Marylhurst, this same variety of Campenula lined the narrow space in front of the building. In the summer, at least 10 people a day would stop to ask what kind of flower that was. This must have gone on for years before I came to establish my studio there because once I inherited the care of the old laundry building I would find little notes taped in every nook and cranny, written by the older sister that was the manager of the building before me. I think they were meant to be a reminder to her. Each one said: "The purple flowers out front are Campenula."

These little bell shaped flowers bloomed continuously, even during the winter! There was always one or two that bloomed as if to say: "we won't leave you, even in the winter, because we know how much you love us." There have been ground breaking studies "back in the day" to show that plants somehow know they are loved and thought well of and they seem to respond favorably to this attention. Some of you may remember an earlier post I did about my orchid. It gave me five or six big blossoms and hung around for about 3 months and then faded away. I thought I might have to wait another year or two for any more activity from this little soul, but, to my amazement. I discovered that where the old flower stalk ended and shriveled up is a new one shooting out with more buds getting ready to wow me! Maybe it wanted to encourage me as I get used to the fact that Toby is no longer physically present. Maybe little orchid thought I could use some creature company. Don't get me wrong, My sister and I are having a marvelous time spending time each day. I think it is the way that Mother Earth reaches out to us through the beings who are most in tuned with her energy.

The thing is, Mother Earth is changing. She is being re-configured by cosmic forces. And, she is not the only one. There is astounding new data, not covered by main stream media. that every planet in our solar system is going through a process of global warming! It has nothing to do with the burning of fossil fuels either. There is a fundamental change that is happening to our part of the cosmos, a birthing process. Consciousness is awakening in all of us. Our plant and animal kin are even more aware of it than we are and are preparing us to join in the great awakening our planet is experiencing. This is why, in the end, it is so important to tend to the environment and watch ourselves so we don't add to the difficulty of the change we and out planet must experience. Most of all it is our heart place and the quality of our thoughts and feelings that are so important to be directing and choosing carefully. It will be the difference between a hard or soft landing, I think. There are many out there that want to keep stirring up fear and negativity. However, this is an important transition time that requires many faithful lighthouses and anchors to help keep stability and hope and kindness moving us forward. It starts for all of us by first looking in the mirror and loving who we see, and then taking that feeling into each day and looking out at our world with this same positive recognition. Because, when we arrive where we are going as a transfigured species, we want to be able to recognize the faithful companions waiting for us to realize we have come to our "sweet spot." I'll bet for me, and I'm counting on it, that it will be something like those little purple Campenula that will be involved. What about you?

When Angels take their leave......

This seems to be a time for Angels, I guess. A special Angel who has been my companion for the last 5 and a half years took his leave this day about noon. I inherited him, a white with brindle patches, greyhound from my friend, Cindy, who preceded him by 5 years, as she crossed the rainbow bridge. When he first came into our household from the greyhound adoption program he carried a winning racer Name:" Nebraska Chief." He told us he wanted to be called Toby. He carried his name in a gentle way. Everyone who ever met him notice his regal beauty. He had an unusual diamond shaped mark on his third eye, that is called a "monks hood" and it is believed that a dog carrying that mark was touched by the hand of God. All of us who knew him, felt that way too. The many times I took him to the beach he was an ambassador of peace and welcome to all he met. He once pointed out a heart shaped shell fossil and so many times helped me find heart shaped rocks. It was only right that we two walked together looking for hearts. His very fir coat sported a heart shaped brindle patch, so his mission here on earth was to remind us all of the power of love in our lives and to lead lives where matters of the heart were first and foremost. What I liked most about Toby was his quiet presence, he never demanded attention but was content to be near by, keeping me company. One of the great things that he was for me was an exersize coach. Because of him, I walked each day and made time to get out and see the world around me as he did, sniffing the salt sea air and looking for something furry to chase. I loved that he stayed by my side when we walked. I never had to worry if he would run away when he walked or ran on the beach without a leash. When we would take our long walks up the beach he stayed just a pace behind me, "following his leader," like a good dog should. What an easy person he was to be with. During the 3 short years he was a racer he experienced many things that left him scarred and scared. I don't even want to think what it must have been like living in a cage during those years. When we adopted him he became a 45 mile an hour couch potato. I'm not sure if my couch will ever be the same without a greyhound on it. For the next three days, the gate to the yard will be left open in recognition of his newfound freedom. Run free, Dear Friend, you are free to chase any rabbit you like now and eat all the chicken strips you want. Thank you for coming near for a while.

When Angels come to call.....

They came through the door in a simple way, looking for "Kathryn," they said. Two women who were mentally disabled (by "normal" standards) and their guides, who were there to help shepherd them in a shopping experience, quietly came in a moment of grace. One of them "wore the costume" of Downs syndrome and could hardly be understood when she spoke. The tip off for me right away that these were Angels in disguise was the one with Downs frequently asking a question, (I heard as code for "we are not who we seem"), "where are the Halloween cards?" The two guides were gently trying to help her see that it was not Halloween, yet, but I knew what she was really trying to say.

My friend, Cindy, who crossed over 5 years ago has shared with me many times that none of us are really who we seem and that we are all heroes who have come here in disguise to be of service.

"We come in disguises as if at a costume party. We sometimes have a great laugh at each other when we see what each of us chose as our costume."

At some point in the process of wrapping her purchase up she made a point to make sure it would go in a sack. When I brought the sack out and handed it to her she held it open and said: "Trick or Treat" and laughed as I place her purchase in her sack. Then she asked me for my card. When I handed it to her she scrutinized it carefully and said very purposefully: "Oh, you are very famous! We all know you! We'll be coming again sometime." Then winked. Her guides were mildly amused, but I'm sure, missed what was really going on as she wished me a Happy Halloween.

I make it a point to see that Sophia's Gifts, the little studio/shop I work in daily, has always been a place of comfort and encouragement for those who come to visit. Today, however, the Angels came to call just to extend the encouragement to me. I am so glad I was paying attention! Somehow, I'll bet they have been out and about in your lives, too....Have you noticed?

Laughter is the best medicine! (Sr. Mary Serious, got silly)

I'm not sure if this is your experience, when you get around one of your siblings, but it seems like being around my kid sister has brought the playful, little kid out in me. She does have a zany side to her and it just gets me going. The other day one of the volunteers gave me this little pig toy. When you press it's hand he starts snorting, swaying and squealing out a little song. It is such a riot, the serious goes out the window and both my sister and I go into a fit of laughter. I don't know when I have laughed so much. I realized I've just been way too serious lately, though, because the laughing is just so much dang fun! We had a pretty good day at the studio as far as sales go, the other day. It has been a bit scary to see the sales drop. It's the economy. It has become serious business. But, when "Mr. Bank" arrived and started singing and dancing, serious and scary flew out the window. Each time we made a sale someone reached over and made "Mr. Bank" dance and squeal. Then, we couldn't help ourselves we all started laughing. If you can find something in your life that is a laugh-maker, I would strongly urge you to bring it closer into your life and use it whenever you find yourself getting too serious. There is nothing that is quite so infectious than laughing out loud. I heard once that to keep yourself healthy and happy you should be hugged at least 10 times daily. I think about 10 really strong belly laughs should also be added to the daily requirement of soul medicine as well.

Push the arrow and have a chuckle at my first movie.

Sister and sisters

Robbie and I 1966, I was 19, she was 16. We were both much thinner than we are now, but not as wise....


For the last 18 or so years I have been sharing my home with women in transition. It use to be that nuns lived together exclusively with other nuns. It was unheard of 40 years ago when I entered the community to live with those who were not vowed religious and usually those from one's own community. Things are quite different today. After spending a number of years working on the streets of Portland with homeless people and later working with many women who came through our Center, I began to be concerned with women, especially those who were in transition. One thing led to another and I have been sharing my home with various women who Spirit has sent that need a safe place to live while they figure out what comes next in their lives. It is always interesting when each woman moves in. I always have to adjust things to accommodate their needs. Now, I find my own kid sister has become the newest woman to move in. We are four years apart in age, and though, in the past, many of our interest have been very different, of late we are discovering more and more things we share in common. So, it will be interesting to see how it goes.

One way we still differ is the T.V. It is hard for me to stay interested in much of what is served up on the television these days. I mainly watch it to catch up on the news in the morning or evening while I do my daily workout. If I wasn't in a more remote area, I'd probably skip the T.V. altogether. But, for my sister, there are many reality shows she watches "religiously."

The reason I share my home like this is that I value the relational way we humans are put together and extend myself, in the name of my community, to build and nurture the relationship of sisterhood. We nuns call one another by our names, but it used to be that "Sister" was a way we addressed one another. Others also used that term when addressing us. I think it got kind of unconscious. We don't really think about what that meant any more, and now, among us members of the religious community, we rarely use it to address one another, preferring the given name. Sometimes, it has taken living with women who are not nuns to make me a better nun and sister. I'm not sure I can explain that exactly. I don't mean it like, a better nun becomes more "churchy," more than it means, by extending myself and my home to one who is not a nun, makes me have to get to the root of what my and the purpose of religious communities are really for in the first place.

We create for ourselves a sanctuary to nurture and enliven our spirituality and energize us for our mission. At its core, our life as humans is sacred. We nuns have internalized and externalized it as a living model of relationship that empowers, liberates, invites continual growth, mutual support and accountability for the good of the whole. Our lifestyle expresses relationship as sacred in a way that is inclusive and focuses on community as the expression of one of the sacred models humankind needs for it journey to wholeness. The whole universe from the micro to the macro dances as a Oneness in relationship to The Sacred dimension. I think our life in community is less, in the end, about the Catholic part and much more about being a person committed to living out the deeper sacred values inherent in life in this awesome Universe. How will we two sisters in blood get along as sisters in spirit too? More will be revealed.